Monday, January 18, 2010

Doogie Howser, M.D.

Brought to you by Doogie and the Gang

January 18, 2010
Went to the gym for the first time, with the most beautiful girl in the world - myself. Running part way up a mountain without ever going outside vs. losing my first patient. . . No contest. Got arrested. Fell in love. Love hurts, but hurting someone who loves you hurts worse. Worse than something that just needs a Band-Aid. . .I'm stuck on Band-Aid brand 'cause they don't stick on me.

How come all of Doogie's journal entries were all around 2 sentences long? Yet he was so profound. And concise. And he always learned so much every day! Maybe I should be a child genius doctor. That's probably all this means. But during the first season everyone keeps telling him he's 16, which he clearly isn't. I know I look young for my age, but Doogie is ridiculous. Unless...I'm like a girl version of when I was 16 I looked is possible...except I was fatter. Much fatter. MUCH. And I had a far more horrible hair cut. And I also wasn't a doctor. At least not the kind of doctor he is. Was.

Here's how I would probably act most of the time if I was a doctor who kept a journal of entries consisting of 2 sentences at a time.

Who wouldn't want to be treated by that??

NOTE - When deciding to keep a journal, make sure you're gifted with the ability to make the mundane and everyday activity sound extraordinary!
HOT TIP - If you aren't gifted with that ability, don't do an activity everyday. Sit in your room doing your boring things and don't tell anyone about them or even write them down. That way, when you're gone it'll be like you never existed! Maybe your body will just disappear into the ether OR maybe you never even really were there with which to begin!
HOTTER TIP - Lie! Make a journal full of hilarious and wondrous things you don't do, but wish you were doing.
HOTTEST TIP - Change your pathetic life and go actually do zany and fantastic things of which other people only dream!

Why did I think Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman took place in Alaska? I've never seen the show, nor have I wanted to, but I just assumed. It was one of those facts you just know. I guess I'm thinking of Northern Exposure? Another show I've never seen nor had a desire to see.  Is there even a doctor who is a lady in that show? I don't know.  But it is that show even actually in Alaska?  YES! I just looked and yes it is.

You wouldn't stick a moose in front of a cafe unless you were in Alaska. Would you?? I wouldn't.

Also, Gaga on Orpah.  I wish Orpah could sing and dance.

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