Monday, February 8, 2010

Fun + Games + Food + Me

With summer just on the horizon (and horizons, remember, are things that are far away in actuality and you can't ever really get there, but summer's not a place it's a time, isn't it? And you can't get to a time, or can you? I don't know but who really does) here is a summer fun and game to look forward to: Pooh Sticks.

NOTE - You are all thinking I have chosen this game because it has the word 'poo' right in the name, and you know poo is one of the best words around.
HOT TIP - You shouldn't think about what you already know - of course, that is one of the key reasons I chose it! You should always do, play, eat, talk about, etc... things that have one of your favorite words right there in the name. Only don't do the wrong thing to your favorite thing. Things could go terribly wrong if you marry the wrong words together....playing with and eating poo, for example, are somethings never to do. Talking about and a doing a poo, however, are more than somethings to do, they are musts.
If you read Winnie the Pooh books or watched the cartoon you should know what Pooh Sticks is. If not...I cannot even think of such a thing. It just stings my nostrils to even begin to imagine such a life...You can read all about the World Pooh Sticks Championships here. When playing Pooh Sticks you should eat something festive - like a chocolate honey cake.
You need to use Muscavado sugar, which makes me think of Rosemary's Baby and how the Castavets were really the Marcados.
Which makes me think of Scrabble!

I could make those.  I will!!  Let's now take just a minute to consider Rosemary.
Rosemary was a real lady. She almost never wore pants and always wore flat shoes. And you can tell she was a real lady because even though her hair was really short, her husband didn't confuse her for a young boy! He let the devil impregnate her and everything! Now, some of you might be thinking - What do you know about being a lady?? You talk about poop! And I might reply that a real lady always talks about what she wants to as long as it offends nobody or only a very few number of people or a very great number of people who don't matter very much.
Another real lady. Bjork says what she means and means what she says.
"I am grateful. Grapefruit."
NOTE - When making speeches, always state exactly what you mean emphatically and ecstatically.
HOT TIP - If what you are saying is not necessarily of the popular opinion, get real angry about it and make sure you're wearing a flamboyant outfit. And still be emphatic. Always be emphatic.
Or take everything you've said back a second later and give the people you're talking to your chocolate factory.

I will be exploring several options for developing life skills and think you should all come along with me for the journey!
You don't need a compass for this journey. Stupids. You're on a webpage. You're clearly not going anywhere. Here's a taste of what is coming for you...

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