Tuesday, March 23, 2010

My Least Favorite Things.

Sunday, while trying to drive somewhere, I became trapped.  Trapped and scared and sweaty and then hungry and then angry and then sad.  I had to deal with all these emotions while alone in my car.  Who did this to me?  Why would they let people make another person feel this way?  How can I deal with these feelings?  How do I go on?

I'll tell you the source of my unrest and discontent.  The Los Angeles Marathon.  Now, marathons combine my two least favorite things - large groups of stupid people and running for no reason.  Here's what these morons did -
They ran from Dodger stadium to the beach in Santa Monica.  And no, I can't even really get on board with marathons when they're for a specific cause, or even a good specific cause.  And this stupid thing had no direction and just had "charity" involved.  And most of the people running in this, I'm sure, couldn't give two hairy figs about charity.  Nobody finished and was like "I've done my part for the American Pacific Legal Center!  My, how satisfying!"  I seriously doubt it.

And joggers, another ridiculous breed, run all the time for no reason without blocking off streets.  So, while jogging and joggers are some of least favorite things - marathons really take a cake.  And I won't even begin to argue with you if you tell me it's good exercise.  There are plenty of things that are good exercise that are to a good end - like walking upstairs.  You can't get upstairs unless you walk up them!  That's a great exercise!  And, sure, I like dumb exercises like using a video to dance around in my bedroom to music that almost sounds like actual pop music but isn't actually real music people listen to - but I'm not pretending this is smart!  It's not.  

But guess what -  I'm not stopping traffic.  I'm not pretending it's serious.  And I'm certainly not doing it in public, forcing other people to see me in some inappropriate outfit.  YET.

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