Thursday, April 1, 2010

has to be prrrty

When some people cook and then put up photos, it all has to look perfect and pretty.  But.  Guess what!  Life isn't about being perfect and pretty on the internet.  It's about being pretty and perfect in living colors!  And people want to seem all supercool and nifty - well, guess what!!  Most people are not!  But I am!  And isn't better to be things than to seem like them?  YES!  Yes, it is.

And, sometimes, I make cookies!  WATCH ME NOW!
If you're going to cook, let it be in a jumpsuit.  Jumpsuits are the future.  They are one piece of clothes you put on and BAM - you're done.  In the future all we will have is dresses and jumpsuits.  I own several clothes items that are one piece and BAM - you're done.  And sure, some might have compared me to a French clown - but who doesn't love French clowns?  And perhaps another item results in one looking like a baby, but doesn't everyone want to look younger???  I don't, particularly. 

 I'd rather look as what I am - but you just wait, I'm sure a diaper-pants fashion trend is stewing in a big pot underground from where all things fashion fester and grow.  And not like those big dumpy-crotched genie pants things.  Though those things are awful.  Why would you want it to look like your crotch had dropped a foot and a half?  What're you hiding in there?  Is it a droopity fleshy bathing suit area?  An underdeveloped third leg?  Are you planning on birthing a baby and don't want to take off your pants and also you want to have a hammock in your pants ready to cradle it when it falls out?  

Unless what you are hiding is candy or Monopoly money, I am not interested. 
Her pants seem to be sucking up into themselves.  Maybe her left crotch is the dominant one.  And it's hungry for pants.

The  orthopedic wedges are really adding that special pizazz here.

I don't even know.  You guys.  I don't even.
These are the only acceptable pants in the bunch.  LOVE IT.  Love the shoes. Stunning.  Gorgeous.  Perfection.  Gold & Blue.  A match made in heaven!


Anyway.  I mean, like diaper covers baby wear over their diapers as pants for adults.  Like bloomers, sort of.  You just wait, Henry Higgins.  Just you wait.
Speaking of Henry, he loved words.  And I just remembered at a magazine where I interned they used words like "resto" and "natch."  Those are some of my least favorite words that aren't words.  They're dumb as stumps.  Nobody really says those things.  And if you are a person who uses those things as words, you probably don't really count for much anyway.  And if you do count for something right now, you don't in the grand scheme of life.  You're living a bug's life.   

A BUG'S LIFE.  Disney's A Bug's Life.  Disney Pixar's A Bug's Life.
Stew on that.  

2 comments:

Idle said...

I want those pants!!!

Idle said...

I also really love a bugs life!! pupu platter! poopoo platter!! My mom. century city! a bugs life! My life in living colors!