Dear dumb telemarketing jerks who call my phone at 6AM,
I don't call your phone at 6AM and make it ring in manner mode so hard it falls off the table and onto the floor - waking me up and in the process hurting itself. And just because I don't do something doesn't mean I don't want other people to not do it - like if I don't bake you a cake it doesn't mean I don't want you to bake me one. But you're not baking me a cake, or even a cookie, or even a cookie from a tube. Those are nice tasty things. You're doing a mean unflavored thing.
And if I don't call your phone at 6AM, how about you don't call mine? That'd be nice. My phone is an old man and he doesn't need to be falling off tables and screaming his head off while dawn is cracking all around us. Would you like it very much if you were sleeping and an old man in the same room fell off a table and started convulsing and shrieking? I don't think so. Think about that.
If you do this again, as you continue to, I'll have to get mad. And we all know what happens when I get mad sometimes. Sometimes I get so mad I just have to smash a vase on the back of Greg's head.
That's all. Except for let's all feel better by looking at a kitten-