Thursday, September 16, 2010

just because you can

Jamie Oliver is the best.  You know, the man who cooks things and had that TV show where he tried to show kids in American schools how fat and nasty they were because they're eating garbage?  And the kids didn't even know the names of vegetables!  And they wanted to eat some disgusting nugget he made out of gross chicken parts like skin and bones that he only made to show them how gross it was!  Kids are the worst.  Some of them that are most, at least, probably.  Just kidding.  They don't know any better I guess.  But they should learn or something.  From Jamie.  We all should.
Anytoots.  Do you know his kids' names??  You will in a minute - hopefully less than a minute depending on your reading skills, which I hope are not atrocious because that'd be embarrassing for you probably-  The names are:
Poppy Honey
Daisy Boo
Petal
and a new one named Buddy Bear Maurice.
These are the best names for kids.  They're like names for cats or dogs.  In fact, I might have to adopt four kittens and puppies just to name them Poppy Honey, Daisy Boo, Petal and Buddy Bear Maurice.  Or I could bake desserts and name them those things.  Or discover a small colony of sprite-like people living in a pea pod, free them of their native names and re-name them those names.

I'm not much for babies, but if you could name them like animals I think it'd be a different story.  I think people would like their kids a lot more if they were more like puppies and kittens.  I mean, I know people already love their kids and that's mostly because they have to.  But they'd totally actually like them if they were like little fuzzy animals who do the darndest people-like things!  People aren't cute when they do people-like things because they're already people!!  Sure, dogs are cute when they do dog-like things, but dog-like things are so much cuter than people-like things.  And then when they do a people thing??  It is just too much.

Like, I can sit in a chair.  Watch!  I'll try it three times!
And now look at this dog sitting like a people in a chair -
There's no contest!  This little gentleman is just so much more adorable!  And I had three chances!  And I'm already adorable!  Imagine the heights of this pup's adorability if he beat me in just one sit!

Anyway, Jamie is supercool and had some crazy garden and grows these crazy purple Hyacinth beans.  They are purple!!  They have purple shells!!  
Why has nobody told me about this??  I love foods in unexpected colors!  Yellow tomatoes.  And.  Uh.  Whatever.  I'm sure there are other ones.  I'm imagining a blue donut, but I was thinking more like things that grow.  And I've never seen a donut tree.  At least not a blue one.  WAIT - there are crazy colored carrots.  I like those guys.
I've gotten off track here.

The point probably is - I want to go adopt some baby animals.  And another point probably is  I want a snack.  And a last point, since points come in threes except on stars and in The Point and a lot of other things, is you should name your babies after animals - i.e. Wizard, Cowboy, Bandit, Moose, Biscuit, Flower and Flour.  Yes.  Flour.  With a 'u' - just for the whynot of it.  Just because you can.

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