Wednesday, April 27, 2011

It's the I-Can't-Believe-I-Just-Wrote-a-Whole-Post-on-Greg-Kinnear Post

Greg Kinnear.  He recently has been in my thoughts.  And those thoughts have been, he's a very strange bird.  A bird who isn't actually a bird at all. But can go from a hit movie to another and then to real stinkbombs without really ever having to take the blame or credit for anything.  It's kind of amazing.

I first personally became aware of him in a little movie that nobody really knows about - called As Good As it Gets.  Greg played back up and supporting fiddles and tambourines to tubbybear Jack Nicholson and shebeast Helen Hunt.
Greg put in a solid effort, but I know I would be quicker to talk about Verdell the dog than Greg Kinnear if I was talking about that movie.  Indeed, a quick "Google" of Verdell brings about endless photos and pages dedicated to that wily little dog.  But I can't even remember Greg Kinnear's character's name.  Not that I can remember anyone else's either - but I really couldn't remember his name if I tried.  

He was even nominated for an Oscar for that movie, apparently, for poop's sake!  Yet I would be quicker to talk about the fact that the voice of Lisa Simpson plays Greg Kinnear's assistant in that movie than I would to talk about Greg at all.  So, he really can't get too much of the credit for my enjoyment of that film.  Sure, some might say Jack's overwhelming starpower is to blame - but if all someone has to do to steal some of his attention is be a little boy who wears amazing sweaters -
I'd say Greg fell a touch short.

Greg also appeared in Sabrina.  Again, not playing a leading role.  And obviously unable to take any credit for any of my enjoyment when my favorite man in the world is present.  Wearing silly glasses and bow ties no less!
Greg's not really a leading man type, I suppose.  He appears in You've Got Mail.  A non-creepy Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movie.  I could never get on board with Sleepless in Seattle.  I don't even think I've ever seen the whole thing, but the whole idea just creeps me the farts out.  It seems like a scary stalker movie where a murder should've happened to make it watchable.  I don't get the hoo ha.  But You've Got Mail??  Well, there's a hoo ha worth throwing a ticker tape parade for.  But Greg, once again, shines but cannot take credit.  He tries to do the whole silly glasses and hobby equivalent of a bow tie (collecting typewriters) but doesn't measure up in either department.
But at the end of the day, he's doing his supporting job - making wonderful movies not less wonderful with his acting and appearance.  He fits in nicely, like a cute little vase or a doorstop.

Then Greg made it to modern times with another hit, in which he almost had a leading role.
But here he never stood a chance.  Because of this:
So I would think of that before saying, "WOOWEE check out Greg Kinnear's awesome performance!"  He does lots of quality work in quality movies.  But he also does the aforementioned Stinkbombs.

These include appearances such as The Last Song, Bad News Bears, Stuck On You, Someone Like You, and Flash of Genius.  Flash of Genius is a a movie about windshield wipers.  Yup.  Windshield wipers.  He was probably pretty good in it.  He was probably pretty good in all these suckbutt movies.  And the best part is that I really only think the movies were awful, not Greg!  Like, The Last Song was totally Miley Cyrus' fault.  And the fact that it existed.  But I can't even really blame Greg for making the awful decision to do it.  Because he's just doing his job!  Trying to prop up stinkbag movies with his wonderful support.

I can blame Miley for everything, since trying to find a photo of her yielded the fact that she tweeted a photo of her tampons.  To quote Valerie Cherish, 
"I don't wanna see that!"  I blame myself for innocently trying to visually accent my words.  I should've known better if Miley was involved.

Anyway.  Greg Kinnear - I can't blame you and I can't give you any credit.  Especially not lately.  But goshblarnit, I think I almost like you.  So, here's to you -
Let Paula ride.  Let all the Paulas ride.  We thank you.


apocalypstick said...

Were you there when we were in Chloe's car and I was like, "Wait is this a photo of Greg Kinnear holding a fish??" And she said, "You guys he's really nice!!" and we all started taking pictures of us holding the picture of Greg Kinnear holding the fish?

Laura said...

That sounds really though it were a beautiful dream I can't quite I will confidently say, MAYBE.