How come I can be having a perfectly lovely day and then everything comes crashing down like thunder made from dirty underpants?
My car's rear window and side window are all smashed in and things were stolen. People were caught and all but some of the stuff shall never be seen nor heard from again. I am going to blame San Francisco. I drove around in my car in Los Angeles for practically 7 years and never was my car smashed or mashed into on purpose.
I don't get the big hooha about this town. I know no city is perfect and all, but I don't get why people have to get all hotsity-totsity about how great SF is. It's not that great. It's like how people feel about...I don't know...like how people feel about like I don't know I don't know - Nutella. Or the sound of baby laughter. Or True Blood. They're just kind of ... eh. If not downright awful.
I know I was just saying I miss LA and how if the place stinks it's probably you. But whatever. I don't care. All that is moot when you talk about a city that just kinda butts out stinks. Or I guess really the problem is how I'd heard how much people LOVE it. People I know. And now I'm here and I see it and I'm like - huh? What?? Who? So I guess it's really more like The Wire. Which I'm sure is a great show once you get past the first few episodes because everyone says so - but I couldn't even get through episode 2. It might be worth it - but I'll never know! And that's okay.
Maybe San Francisco is great after you get used to it. But it sure doesn't seem worth it. It's like knowing someone who has the capability to be superfun, but also has a really grating voice and sometimes smells like rotten eggs and also they never pay for tax or tips on restaurant bills. The bad bits make the superfun bits shrink to tuppence! TUPPENCE!
And I know I'm romanticizing NY and LA as I definitely have hated those places very strongly at times. But San Francisco is like wearing two left shoes. It just feels weird. And wrong. And people get all offended when I say I don't think I'd want to live here. If people say they don't like LA or NY or wherever I don't care. I just don't like when people are like, "LA - UGH." That's just unfair. That's like saying, "Michael Bay - UGH!" Yes, yes, he's mostly UGH - but it's like you've never even seen The Rock!
Anyway. The point is.
And speaking of pretzels. If you're in New York. You have to have a City Bakery pretzel croissant! If ya love pretzels and ya love croissants - you'll love pretzel croissants!
But let's turn this frown around. This city also has some nice things. It had my hit play.
And some select supercooool people. They know who they are. But this town - it's not the pair of socks for me. I thought it could be. Then I bought the socks. And there were lazy moths in the toes who were being totally gross hanging out down there but were too lazy to eat their way out and completely ruin the socks. But they made them unwearable. That is what SF is. It is an unwearable pair of socks with lazy moths stuck in the toes.
And those just aren't the socks for me.