Wednesday, October 5, 2011

parties I wish I went to

I don't like parties a lot of the time. They're filled with bad drinks, no snacks/bad snacks, real dumb bunny type folks and the music is nothing I'm gonna shake my stick about.

Is it too much to ask that a party be superfun and superpretty with supergood music and everyone looks supergreat and is superinteresting? I think not. Here are some parties I wish I could've gone to.

Let's start with Harry Potter. I think any party set up by wizards is bound to be classy and fantastic.
Firstly, check out that decor. It's snowing and there are ice towers on the tables. I bet they aren't even cold. Since it's magic snow and ice. And I doubt those wizards would want to keep their coats on the entire evening.
Check it - floating jack o'lanterns. I never done seen nothing like that at no Hallo'weene party. But I'd like to. I'd really like to. I love all things pumpkin: pumpkins, pumpkin muffins, pumpkin scones, pumpkin pancakes, pumpkin candles. Pumpkinetc.
And you get to dress all weird and everyone's magic. So you're going to have a good time whether you like it or not. You would get some tasty food and the crowd would be all wizardy so they'd probably be interesting, even if they were boring. Plus these drinks basically look like the most delicious fun things ever:

The fashion show from Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead also looked like a soiree at which to be.
They set up a gosh-darned runway over the pool. And just at look at what they sent down the runway. Check out the musicians in the background and those sassy party lights! Who wouldn't want an invitation to this extravaganza?
Take a look at that crowd! All those ruffled sleeves! That one dude in front who vaguely, very vaguely, looks like Tommy Lee Jones! And check out Sue Ellen's (Christina Applegate for those of you who haven't seen this masterpiece but should go do so now) friends! They're like Troop Beverly Hills girls slightly more grown up. I would love to talk to all these people.

Speaking of Troop Beverly Hills - Phyllis Nefler knows how to throw a party. This is her at a fundraiser. Wilderness Girls walk around offering guests cigars, cigarettes, or cookies. If those aren't three aren't a three-way match made in three-way heaven, well, I guess I don't know my three-ways. She's also wearing my 2nd favorite hat ever to appear in a film. Look how long that feather is! So long. So very long.
In the next photo we see Phyllis at another Wilderness fete. She does one of my all-time favorite party activities, which is fall in a pool. She thinks she's drowning until she realizes it's only about three feet deep.
And just look at her dress. I just want to be where that thing is.
She also throws a party on a yacht. And even though one party on a yacht I went to really stank worse than a hobo's rat-ridden boat, another party I went to on a yacht was pretty neat. And if Phyllis is throwing the party I know I wanna be there.

And finally there's that party in Everyone Says I Love You. Who wouldn't want to go to a party where everyone dresses like Groucho and there are French people singing and dancing??
So if you're gonna throw a party like any of these parties, let me know and I'll show up with a hostess gift or some fruit salad or something.

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