Wednesday, November 9, 2011

why so sad??

Audrey Hepburn is always crying! What's she got to cry about? She's totally stylish and pretty and has a cool funny accent and handsome dudes are always in love with her. But she's always weeping! Take a poop. By 'poop' I mean 'look.'

Look at poor Audrey. Sitting in a tree crying. Over some dance she can't go to because she's just too dumpy and simple. This totally reminds me of the time I sat in a bush weeping while watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I guess here Audrey cries because it's relatable. Who hasn't sat amongst foliage while tearing up over feeling left out? The answer? Nobody.

There she is crying again. This is more understandable since she has to say good bye forever to Gregory Peck. But it's not like she's sweating it - she gets to go back to be a princess and eating hundred dollar bills stuffed with caviar and whatever it is princesses do. Don't get me wrong, I'd cry over Gregory Peck but if she really wanted to she could just order him to the palace and hire him to count her bacons at breakfast or something. There are ways around saying good bye to Gregory Peck. But I guess I cry when I say good bye to my dog every time I leave the house so...

Audrey is also available in Crying High-Class Callgirl
Lovesickly Crying Model Bride
Depressingly Crying Dysfunctionally Married Wife
Sadly Crying Accused Lesbian Teacher
Hysterically Crying In a Phone Booth b/c A Man is Throwing Matches on You
Quietly Crying at a Train Station
Happily Crying Audrey

And many more! If Audrey ain't crying, it ain't a real picture show. I guess to be more like Audrey I should start crying more. 

I already cry a lot, so - just MORE. I can cry over salad, over filling my car with gas, over cold tea and hot pizza, over waiting for the microwave to do its business, over spaghettis with no meatballs, over meatballs that are really squares, over missing my favorite TV programmes, and   over other food-related issues - ultimately - I can cry over crying! That's the dream. That's the Audrey Hepburn Dream.

1 comment:

apocalypstick said...

"Hysterically Crying In a Phone Booth b/c A Man is Throwing Matches on You"