Tuesday, January 31, 2012

i'm a fancy cartoon lady

I've been playing a lot Dance Central 2 and it's so much better than just sitting around not playing it. I love playing as the character Miss Aubrey because she's got a lot of 'tude and mostly on account of she has a really cool outfit.
Other outfits and personalities I envied included She-Ra. She has a neat sword she basically just uses for decoration and deflecting and a kooky crown/hat. And her outfit stays miraculous glued to her body. How does she do it?!?
Phantasma from Scooby Doo and the Ghoul School had a great look going on for a ghost. I always liked her reverse skunk color hairdo and her cowboy boots are rad. Yes. RAD.
It took me a while to remember this character who had spots in her hair, but I'm glad I did. This is Cheetara (as research has informed me) from the Thundercats. I always thought she was awesome because she has spots in her wavy hair. That's almost impossible!! Also just look at her wacky facial makeup. I LOVE IT!
As the biggest and best star in the world, Barbie had some outfits so rocking they took her out of this world. Fantastic matching of skirt to hat and hat band to rest of outfit. I was jealous of all the earrings worn in Barbie and the Rockers, and with good reason.
Some might say it's wrong to admire cartoon characters and to them I say: "SHUT UP!" But it's really horrifying to google image search most of these characters. People draw some really gross versions of these and related characters. I want to unsee. I don't understand why someone would even draw Hobbes from Calvin and Hobbes with boobs, but hey. Who am I to judge? I'm somebody! And that's just nasty. So all you people doing terrible things to these beloved characters just stop! 

Why not just draw Calvin in a Hobbes suit?
Garfield and Odie having a Best Friends Ever Day?
Or just forget re-drawing all together and just enjoy some photos of old time movie stars with their pets??? It's way less gross than Hobbes with boobs. By at least like 10% I swear.

Watch. Cary Grant and his dog.
Or Jimmy Stewart and his.
And if that's not good enough for you, here's Grace Kelly graciously teaching her dog to read.
The end.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

guy in a tiger suit needs an apartment

If you like Los Angeles and you live in Los Angeles and you like me - come see a short film I made on January 28th. 

And for your trouble here is a
And. What the hey! A dog adopted these baby tigers. Lookit.

And off topic as I just started thinking about girl scout cookies cause I'm HONGRY.
I love that are you hungry lady.
Girl scouts.

I got to thinking of television/movie girl scouts.
Like Jenny Lewis in Troop Beverly Hills - BAM:
And all of them looking supercool in sunglasses.
Then Jenny Lewis in Golden Girls as a Sunshine Cadet - BAM:

I don't know if I'd rather be a Sunshine Cadet or a Wilderness Girl. It's going to take a lot of consideration. But it didn't take long for Tim Curry to decide.
No. Not long at all.

Thursday, January 19, 2012


There are certain actors I get mixed up in real life. Or have to double take and use my noodle to discern who it is I'm looking at. And I love it! I wish I had a twin person. I've been accused of looking like a certain celebrity on more than one occasion and it's more annoying after a while than fun - but I think if I were famous myself I wouldn't mind so much. Mostly on account of having a huge mansion with a ski mountain on the property, along with an amusement park a la Richie Rich, as well as a few solid gold toilets and also 5 separate rooms for each of my Oscars.

Anyway. I recently got to thinking that John Hurt and Sir Ian McKellen are twinsies! Check it out.
Next up are the twinsies of Mandy Moore and Odette Annable. I was watching House a few months ago and I was all, "Mandy Moore?? What? This is not the place for you. You're too good." And she was. Because it wasn't her. It was this Odette Annable.
Red-headed twinsies! Emma Stone and Ruth Wilson. I popped on Luther and saw a woman who looked like a version of Emma Stone and later flipped through a magazine quickly and thought it was Emma Stone but learned it was a gal called Ruth Wilson. KABAM.
I've previously mentioned the twinsy-ing of Owen Wilson and young Dennis Hopper.
Unrelated twinsies are just so silly. Why do they look so much alike? Are they related way down the line? I think yes. Yes, definitely.

Here are some product twinsies.
Well. More like tripletsies. But they're all kinda different so I like them all. It's like how even though Sophie Dahl and Nigella Lawson are different, they're still kind of twinsies. Probably mostly on account of how they both make food and they both love their boobs.
Here are crappy movie twinsies and my thoughts/preferences.
Winner for me would have to be Chasing Liberty. This is because I love Mandy Moore and was more entertained by her desire to go to some dumb love parade in Germany than by Katie Holmes being in college or whatever boring thing she was doing. Plus, I much preferred Mandy in disguise by dying her hair and borrowing a leather jacket to Katie's dress up moment as Pamela Anderson.
Winner for me is going to neither. As I saw No Strings Attached in a hotel room and wish I hadn't and never saw Friends With Benefits and am glad for it. No. Wait. The winners here are Natalie and Mila, for being in Black Swan together and then later going on to make the two different yet exactly the same movies, basically. Congrats, gals!
A tough one, again, but I enjoyed both these movies. You have Woody Allen as a bug on the one hand, and Pixar on the other. A Bug's Life takes a slight lead and, thus, the win for that caterpillar saying he wanted a pu pu platter. 

Coming soon: Armageddon v. Deep Impact, The Grey v. The Edge, The Illusionist v. The Prestige. And coming later rather than sooner: Those two Snow White movies coming out. 
What they hey is that about. Are people really clamoring for two remakes of that? If so, I hope there are dozens of dwarves involved. DOZENS!!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

new year, new YOO-HOO!!


 I'm back and better than ever.

It's the new year. And I've been lax. Not on account of ex-lax though. I won't make that mistake again. It's not chocolate, folks.
It's not chocolate and it doesn't even taste like it for looking a whole lot like its evil twin. You will not turn into a happy little boy at night to a slightly happier boy in the day from taking it. Anyway. The point is, in this new year I think we all need to embrace our true selves.

This can mean accepting you're a jerk.
Accepting you're lazy.
Accepting you're a jealous river trolling hag.

I'm not most of those things, but I am some of them. And I think by embracing these so-called negative aspects of our personalities we can push through the glass cloud ceiling and on to a better future mountain. A good example of what I'm talking about is Madonna.

Everybody knows I love Madonna. This is a lie. I like Madonna a whole lot and then I saw her in a couple of concerts and then I loved her. This is not to say I will not criticize her. I admire her, but she terrifies me. I wouldn't want to look like her, but I think she looks pretty good for what she's going for, which is basically
cloud creature.

Madonna accepts that she is a constantly-changing, inconsistent, non-instrument playing musician she-beast. She makes it work for her. She doesn't fight it or make excuses, she celebrates herself all the time! And that helps others celebrate themselves. If Madonna gets bored she bends the world to her new will.
First she's all, "Here are my boobs - deal with it!" Then "Here is my naked body - deal with it!" Then suddenly "I like Indian things - and I'm gonna do yoga now - deal with it!" Next "Oops - I meant I like Jewish things!" And also "I love disco dancing and now I'm gonna dancersize and work on my Gollum arms - SUCK IT!" Then she's all "Oh, I have some kids, too, so here's a fashion line for them - BAM!"

And, guess what - people got on board. If you're yourself, people are gonna get on board. Hopefully being yourself doesn't entail being a horrible monstrous murderer - but even if that's the case, some nut job is gonna get on board. Or so is my understanding from the commercial I just saw for "Appropriate Adult."
This doesn't mean you give in to your negative qualities - it mean turning them into magical good ones. Madonna is crazy and she turned that into being a worldwide superstar. She could've totally just become your insane roommate who takes laxatives and will only eat chicken and then hides the chicken bones under the bed - but she didn't!
Madge came out on top. I realize we can't all have the iron will of Madonna, but we all have the tiny weak will to be a smidge better. If you're lazy - admit it! Deal with it! Admitting you're true self is the first step. Then you can choose to change it if you don't like it, or not change if you do! Easy as pies.

For instance, I like my lazy because it enables me to take powerful naps. It also influences me to make cozy sleepytime snacks like banana bread. So instead of deciding to not be lazy, I can decide to be lazy but also to be industrious. This seems like an impossible thing to be! But it's not. 

Just look at Madonna -  she's all like, "I wanna be an actress!" And she was doing it and loving it and but people were like, "Oh, Madonna - no! Please stop it." But she ignored them and was like, "I'm gonna do a musical!" And people were all, "Not bad, Madge." 

And I was all like, "Madonna's a good actor, guys - she just needs the right vehicle, like A League of Their Own. She's great in that! You wouldn't expect Keira Knightley to appear in a non-period piece laugh-your-butt-out comedy, would you? Meaning every actor has their proper place! So, Madonna's chosen a few weinerfilms to appear in. Big whoop. She's not perfect. But she did A League of Their Own just great so just shut up!"

So let's all celebrate ourselves! Like, I can be industrious under the right circumstances. Like the lazy in me gives birth to the banana bread in me, which gives birth to more baking projects, which gives birth to more creative projects in general, which gives birth to the better, richer me! And suddenly I'm wonderful because I'm lazy. Because lazy birthed industrious. Just look at Saved by the Bell
It was awful but part of all our lives and it thus birthed Saved by the Bell: The New Class and Saved by the Bell: The College Years
which were so bad they made people really appreciate Saved by the Bell on a whole new level. Make bad births good, y'all. But don't birth no babies. They're rotten and I discourage it entirely both in theory and practice.

Ignore all of the above if you really stink and have qualities I will never appreciate, in which case I'm not interested. PASS! Next.

So here's to the new year and an unexpectedly long blog on Madonna as inspiration.  Here's to the yoo-hoo.