Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Creeps on TV!

Lately I've been watching a lot of shows featuring people who I can't stand for various reasons. Yet I can't stop watching. Somehow you still manage to root for characters even though they're horrible monsters. Here are some of my sassy faves and beware of spoilers, I guess or whatever:

Dr. Hannibal Lecter
This is a guy who eats people. That's enough to say, really. Except for I'm almost most upset while I watch the show when Hannibal uses his psychiatrist powers for evil. It's like, murder and eat whoever you want but don't frame an innocent person who's already crazy that you're driving MORE crazy. Also, serving people to people who don't know they're eating people is totally rude.

And yet you still can't totally hate him. He's super smart, would probably be amazing at cooking if it weren't people-cooking, and has killer style. And, if the time is right, he can crack a mean joke.

Sometimes I think what it would be like if he wasn't a total iron chef and just made, like, mac 'n' cheese but slopped some intestines in there. Real lazy like. Or Corn Flakes with slices of brains instead of nanners. Different show, folks. Different show I'd watch.

Norman Bates
Another guy you can't help rooting for even though he's off his rocker. Sure, he's murdered people and probably wants to sleep with his mom...but boys will be boys! Am I right, folks? He also has weird hobbies like practicing taxidermy. Is there a verb meaning "to taxidermy"? Is it taxidermied? Spellcheck doesn't think so. They can suck my butt.

Any Male Adult in Pretty Little Liars
Never in any other town has pedophilia run so rampant. I think basically every underage girl on this show has had an adult male boyfriend. It boggles the mind. It's not like there aren't enough overage hotties to go around. It's especially strange that a lot of these dudes are cops. I think it's weird. Maybe it's not weird.

Maybe I was the weird one in high school for not having an adult man cop lover. But, come on. One of these guys is a doctor. I'm pretty sure they're supposed to fix hearts, not break them. Especially teenage ones.

As for lady creeps, I guess you could count Norman's teacher on Bates Motel, Miss Watson.
Cause it's not cool to flirt with underage students. Unless you're on Pretty Little Liars. And you're a man. Then go to TOWN!

Until next time, creeps!

1 comment:

Parker Wojciechowski said...

I'm so glad you share my creepy feelings about Norman. Most of my friends who watch it are just like, "but he's SO cute!" and I'm thinking, "but the TAXIDERMY and the whole uncomfortable (for me) relationship with his mother, GUYS."