Showing posts with label steve martin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steve martin. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Miserable musicals and Christopher Walken strip-dancing!

I love movie musicals more than any other movie genre. You get all the wonder and magic of a regular cinematic experience, PLUS singing and dancing and sparkly outfits! What more could anyone ask for? Not much.

Which is why I can't really deal with sad, miserable musicals.

Because sometimes there's not so much sparkle. Sometimes there's only sparkle that fell on the floor and got covered in car poop. Yes, car poop. Not cat poop. Car. Poop.

Don't get me wrong - I will still love the musical, but I probably will start bawling and/or won't be able to deal with viewing said musical ever again. This is why I am looking forward to/dreading seeing Les Miserables.

Not to mention it has my twin Anne Hathaway in it. Being all sad and bald and then dead.

Some of the most depressing musicals I had the pleasure/horror of watching include:

Moulin Rouge. Now, this reworked songs and whatnot, but a musical is a musical is a musical where people fall in love and cough up blood and DIE. But there's fireworks and dancing and whatever. And MISERY!

West Side Story, which as we all know is White/Puerto Rican gang-dance Romeo & Juliet but you still hope nobody's gonna die. GOOD LUCK!! Hopes will be dashed!! Hearts will be broken!! Through music and dance.

But I still love it! But can't really watch it. I can re-watch all the numbers individually but it's just so sad to watch and know it's going to end horribly. But that's what we humans like to do. Make beautiful things that end horribly. Way to go, team! Just kidding, we're great and sometimes things end well.

But not for Steve Martin in Pennies from Heaven! This was a miserable tale for miserable characters, but there sure was some fun singing and dancing and costumes a-glittering. I seriously will never watch this musical again it was so depressing for each and every miserable character.

But you should take a peep if only to see Christopher Walken dancing and stripping:

The only musical more miserable than Pennies I can think of that I've seen is Dancer in the Dark. That is a movie musical that makes me cry like my dog when he accidentally gets locked out of the house or sees you eating a cookie and you just won't share it with him. I might have even cried harder than that. The only thing that kept me watching was Bjork's magical music skills. And so I could confirm to myself that this was no horrible nightmare, but a musical made by Lars von Trier.

I can't even watch the entirety of that second clip because I am becoming SAD! EMOTIONS! FLOWING LIKE BEER FLOWING LIKE WINE!!

Why must I feel so much? I'm like a toy teddy bear called Feelings and all he does is FEEL things. And poop little fake poops that are actually chocolate treats. I'm not saying I poop chocolate, I'm just spit-ballin' for this awesome toy. JEEZ.

And I'm not gonna lie: Sometimes I practice singing sad songs from musicals and crying, because you never know when that'll come in handy. It hasn't yet, but I'm pretty sure I'm not wasting my time with that one.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

certain sequels

People always say sequels are never as good as the original. I am going to beg to differ. Actually, I'm not going to beg. I'm am just going to plain differ. Watch me differ!

First up, Back to the Future 2

I wish the title was Back to the Future 2: Backer to the Future. I'm really glad it's not though. Honestly. I loved the original Back to the Future, but I prefer the second. You basically get to re-watch the whole first movie inside this movie, anyway. Which really means I guess I love each movie equally, since the sequel is basically half and half.

But in addition to the past, we see the future! BTTF2 brings us these awesome self-lacing shoes. And the hover board, obviously.

We get to see this crazy can of Pepsi - I still don't understand how you open it!

We get to see the future. I don't see how this cannot be seen as better than seeing the past. The past happened. We sorta know how it goes. But the future is a mystery! A mystery through which I'm more than happy to let Marty McFly guide me.

Next up - Father Of the Bride Part 2.

I usually don't like things with babies. For example, I greatly preferred that Look Who's Talking movie with the dogs than any of the baby ones.
But I love this movie. I like the swans at the baby shower. I like Martin Short. I love big pregnant Diane Keaton. And they're stupid double birthing scene. I love it all. And I would watch this over the original any day of the week.

And what's not to love about these pregnant fools in the worst workout wear I've ever scene? I LOVE IT!

And finally, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York.
How these dopes managed to forget their kid again is beyond me. You'd think at that point they'd have put a harness on him. Or those wrist leashes. I like this way better than the original on account of it's Christmas in New York. That's basically the best possible place to do Christmas.
You've also got Tim Curry, who I think makes most movies better. And you still get a slightly creepy but really only misunderstood older person that helps save the day!
This movie has all the wonder of the original and more. Literally, more. He's in a city. We're not stuck in a house the whole time. And it's awesome.

So next time you're about to fart on the idea of sequels - remember these 3. And shut your mouth! After you stick a cookie in there! And chew it up and swallow it and it'll be so delicious.